www.istockphoto.com/portfolio/anyaberkut
Is alcoholism negatively affecting your marriage? Does your husband continue to use alcohol despite the fact that it is ruining your relationship and family? You may feel yourself alone sometimes, but if you look around, you will find countless women encountering the same problem.
During the time of hopelessness, you feel like giving up and admitting the defeat; however, if you learn how to deal with an alcoholic husband, you may win this battle.
Before you learn how to deal? First make sure that if your husband really has an alcohol problem or addiction?
How to identify if your husband is suffering from an alcohol problem?
Alcoholism is usually defined as alcohol use in a sequence. It means that the person cotton used to consume alcohol even though this may cause health, social, economic or relationship problems. If your husband consumes alcohol once or twice a week with his friends or takes only a small portion of it, really does not mean that he is suffering from an alcohol disorder.
But if he is regularly drinking and cannot control and what rate is drinking irrespective of when and where he is? Also, if he is using excuses for staying out that he is going to hang out with his friend every time and come back drunk, this may be an alarming sign that your spouse is suffering from alcoholism.
Symptoms of alcohol disorder
Here are some symptoms that may help you identify the alcohol disorder;
- Lack of interest in previous habits.
- Does not fulfil the responsibility and is interested in spending time with alcoholic friends.
- If he is regularly tired and has mood swings.
- If he is becoming secretive, dishonest, readily angry, neglecting personal hygiene, and having a constant hangover.
Here is what you can do with your alcoholic husband?
Seek help from a professional
Living or dealing with a person who is addicted to alcohol is very tough, and like taking a toll on your life. Instead of dealing with this problem yourself, it’s better if you seek the help of an unbiased professional. You can visit an alcohol rehabilitation center with your husband and convince him to stay there as long as he does not quit his habit.
Try to convince him with love and encourage him by telling how life-changing this experience can be. If he does not want to stay in rehab, make sure he attends all the therapy sessions & stay away from alcohol as well as alcoholic friends.
Communicate
Communication is another key that can help you to make your husband understand how uncomfortable you feel around him when he is drunk. You can also enquire if he is consuming due to any financial issue or emotional stress? You can communicate in both verbal and nonverbal ways.
Also, find time to talk first about your concerns by sitting beneath the communication umbrella. Once you have spoken, listen to your husband politely without interrupting. Try to find a solution to various problems and act together. Just bear in mind that this process can be complicated, but don’t give up.
Don’t enable your spouse to prevent consequences
If your spouse is making mistakes when he is drunk, do not try to cover his mistakes or the consequences from them. This does nothing to solve the problem but will make your partner face the results of his or her actions. This may make him realize what foolish things he or she has been doing under the influence of alcohol, which may eventually lead him to recovery.
Listen to your spouse
Always listen to your spouse, does not matter if he is lying or trying to cover up something he has done wrong. If you know the truth, decline politely and tell him you know the real story. Remember that you are not someone to shed a good light on your partner, and this forces him or her to take responsibility and go visit the rehab.
Do not become angry
Always respond with love. Because if you respond to your spouse with anger when he or she is drunk, it will become difficult to cope with the stress and may create a situation that is out of control. Sometimes the drug abuse leads to domestic abuse, so to avoid it, you must not target your spouse with some emotional dialogues or by showing anger.
Instead, continuously remind yourself that becoming angry can only worsen the situation. So maintain a good temperament that will positively affect both you and your spouse.
What to avoid if you love an alcoholic?
It is hard to hear and digest that someone you deeply love is an alcoholic. Living with an alcoholic person is not less than a challenge, because you no longer can do the things in your dance with the person having a drug or alcohol addiction. Here are a few things you should stop doing instantly if you are in the very same situation.
Blame yourself
It is observed that most spouses tend to blame themselves for the drinking habit. They think that the circumstances around the other person are due to them. That is why they are dependent on alcohol.
Trying to cure it
Remember that you cannot cure alcohol addiction, unless you are an expert. Do not make a mistake of handling the situation yourself and carry out any experiment on your spouse. Instead, it is recommended to go and see some drug-abuse counselor to seek some professional help. This is because the treatment for alcohol addiction is a step by step process, which leads to a complete change; professionals can only handle this process.
Accept their violent behavior
Accepting the unacceptable & violent behavior is wrong. If your spouse tends to torture you physically when he has drunk too much, just tell him straight away when he is in normal condition. Also, do not tolerate any hurtful objective comment addressed towards you or your children because these comments can damage your child’s personality making him feel insecure and less confident.